On the morning of January 2, 2012, Lana Marietta Andersen Andrews waltzed in to the law office of Weinstein and Fetterman where she had been working for the past several years as a paralegal. She was all decked out in her favorite office attire, looking quite lawyerly, thank you very much, in her librarian glasses. He one touch of flair was the boots. She had a thing for leather boots. Apart from this outfit, which was a norm as far as her lawyers were concerned, she was also wearing quite the purple splotch of fingerprint on her left cheek. Since David Weinstein had the office to the left side of the reception area, he was the first to see her face. As she sang out her usual greeting, he was up and out of his office to remark,
\n\t\u201cHoly shit, Lana! What happened to you?\u201d
\nThis brought Counselor Fetterman out of his office as well. The two lawyers, David an older man and Stephen somewhat younger, loved her to pieces and vied for her attention somewhat.
\n\t\u201cMy son of a bitch husband hit me.\u201d
\n\t\u201cYikes,\u201d said Stephen.
\n\t\u201cI\u2019m assuming this is what you called about on the 31st,\u201d said David.
\n\t\u201cYes. That\u2019s correct.\u201d
\n\t\u201cWell,\u201d said David, \u201cyour first project this morning will be to write yourself up an emergency restraining order and then take it down to the Magistrate.\u201d
\n\t\u201cRight. You sure you can\u2019t send Stephen? I look a fright.\u201d
\n\t\u201cThe fright is harmonious with your purpose in filing, don\u2019t you think?\u201d Said Stephen. \u201cSo, where\u2019s Scott now, I hate to ask?\u201d
\n\t\u201cWood County.\u201d
\n\t\u201cRight.\u201d
\n\t\u201cDamn! I\u2019m so sorry for you, Lana.\u201d
\n\t\u201cOh, I\u2019ll live. It\u2019s funny. I\u2019ve been having a hard time with Scott since at least law school. He pushed me into that and then freaked out about some aspect of it. I never quite got a bead on why he didn\u2019t want me to complete the process. The whole time, over that and other things he took umbrage about, I\u2019ve been fretting, leaking tears, burdening my friends, and all of the rest of it. The moment he hit me, maybe even before, actually, the moment he raised his voice over the phone from Oakland, I felt released. I don\u2019t hate him, but the marriage is irrevocably over.\u201d
\n\t\u201cWell, we\u2019ll represent you. We\u2019ll cut you a break, too,\u201d said David. \u201cI\u2019ll let Stephen do it. We\u2019ll do a bang up job. Scott won\u2019t know what hit him.\u201d
\n\t\u201cOh, that\u2019s sweet of you, and yes, I do want you to do it. I don\u2019t care which on of you. Whatever is most convenient for the firm. But you don\u2019t need to rake hi over the coals. I\u2019ll take my half or whatever.\u201d
\n\t\u201cSell the house?\u201d
\n\t\u201cHmm. I kind of like the house.\u201d
\n\t\u201cThen it\u2019s \u2018rake him over the coals\u2019 time.\u201d<\/p>\n
That same morning, Bruce called the confinement center, aka, the Wood County Jail to see about bailing Scott out. Lana would be down at the Courthouse even now, most likely. As soon as she had taken care of business, she\u2019d be calling him. As soon as he got the word, he\u2019d take the lugubrious trip to free his partner. This took more legwork than he thought. He didn\u2019t know much about prisons or the judicial system. Who does? Who bones up on this stuff out of the clear blue?
\n\t\u201cI\u2019d like to see about bailing out a prisoner.\u201d
\n\t\u201cDid you contact a bondsman?\u201d
\n\t\u201cNo. I don\u2019t know much about it.\u201d
\n\t\u201cWhen someone is arrested, you will contact a bondsman, a private company, and they will take your information and begin the process of getting approval.\u201d
\n\t\u201cWhat about visitation?\u201d
\n\t\u201cThe person is here at the holding area? Did they call you from here?\u201d
\n\t\u201cNo, but I assumed that\u2019s where he went at the time of arrest.\u201d
\n\t\u201cCan you tell me the person\u2019s name?\u201d
\n\t\u201cThe name is Scott Andrews.\u201d
\n\t\u201cJust a moment.\u201d
\nHe looked out at the woods from his office window at Scott Airstrip. The window was filthy. It made the trees seem ghostly and unreal.
\n\t\u201cSir, that person has been transferred to Regional.\u201d
\n\t\u201cTransferred?\u201d
\n\t\u201cYes. We\u2019re just a 12-hour facility. He\u2019d been in here that long, so procedure is to transfer. Would you like the number?\u201d
\n\t\u201cYes, thank you.\u201d
\n\t\u201cHold on.\u201d
\n\t\u201cIt\u2019s 304-873-1384.\u201d
\n\t\u201cThanks.\u201d
\nBruce called the number. He learned that the Jail was almost to Salem, near West Union. He learned that there was no visitation on Mondays. He learned, again, that he\u2019d need to contact a bondsman. Almost as soon as he hung up, the phone rang. It was Lana.
\n\t\u201cHey, Bruce. I wanted to let you know that I\u2019m done. Bruce is under a temporary restraining order.\u201d
\n\t\u201cThat\u2019s good, I guess, Lana, but he\u2019s also still in jail.\u201d
\n\t\u201cYeah. It\u2019s time to bail the man out.\u201d
\n\t\u201cDo you know how to do that?\u201d
\n\t\u201cYes. He needs to get himself a lawyer.\u201d
\n\t\u201cOK.\u201d
\n\t\u201cTell him to try to get the lawyer to get him released on his own recognizance.\u201d
\n\t\u201cWhat does that mean? I\u2019ve never watched much \u201cLaw and Order.\u201d
\n\t\u201cThat means you likely won\u2019t have to pay bail.\u201d
\n\t\u201cLikely?\u201d
\n\t\u201cWell, it\u2019ll be up to a pre-trial judge.\u201d
\nIt occurred to Bruce now why Scott had become uncomfortable with the idea of having a lawyer in the family. It was a mind like a bear trap.
\n\t\u201cHe\u2019s at what she called \u2018Regional.\u2019\u201d
\n\t\u201cYeah. Greenwood.\u201d
\n\t\u201cWow.\u201d
\n\t\u201cWow, what?\u201d
\n\t\u201cWell you know all this stuff. I mean, it\u2019s not something I usually think of when I think of you.\u201d
\n\t\u201cOh, I know, Bruce sweetie. It\u2019s sick. I should be a wood nymph and a poet, but Scotty wanted me to be a lawyer.\u201d
\n\t\u201cAnd then he didn\u2019t.\u201d
\n\t\u201cAnd then, yeah, he changed his mind.\u201d
\n\t\u201cI can see why. You have him by the balls.\u201d
\n\t\u201cHe hit me in the face.\u201d
\n\t\u201cHe was pissed off.\u201d
\n\t\u201cToo bad. You can\u2019t beat a woman.\u201d
\n\t\u201cNo, I suppose not.\u201d
\n\t\u201cSweetie?\u201d
\n\t\u201cYes?\u201d
\n\t\u201cI don\u2019t think of you as being a big fan of violence.\u201d
\n\t\u201cI\u2019m not, I\u2019m not\u2026\u201d
\n\t\u201cWell, then. Scott was violent.\u201d
\n\t\u201cI\u2019m not excusing it. I\u2019m just saying it was one time.\u201d
\n\t\u201cI don\u2019t want to wait for the second time. Also, he was violent also in yelling at me. That\u2019s abuse. He hid my books, my property from me. He was fond of telling me what I could and couldn\u2019t do. Abuse and more abuse.\u201d
\n\t\u201cWell, he\u2019s stuck down there. It\u2019s no visitors day.\u201d
\n\t\u201cHe can stew another day. It might also take some time to get a judgment.\u201d
\n\t\u201cHow much time?\u201d
\n\t\u201cI don\u2019t know. We do family law; we don\u2019t do criminal.\u201d
\n\t\u201cShit. I\u2019ve got a Cessna hangared in Oakland, costing money by the day.\u201d
\n\t\u201cYou also need to hire a lawyer. Look on the bright side, though, Bruce. In West Virginia, domestic battery is a misdemeanor, not a felony. There is the possibility, without a prior record, and having, as you say, just hit me once, that he\u2019ll get off without a bondsman. If you do have to pay bond, I recommend paying cash if you can. It\u2019s much cheaper that way.\u201d
\n\t\u201cI\u2019m thinking I should just go out to Oakland and fly the plane back.\u201d
\n\t\u201cWhy don\u2019t you? I\u2019d consider going with you.\u201d
\n\t\u201cReally?\u201d
\n\t\u201cSure. Why not?\u201d
\n\t\u201cWell, Scott will be totally pissed.\u201d
\nThe words got out of his mouth before he knew it. It was old habit of thought.
\n\t\u201cAs me if I give a shit, Bruce. He\u2019s in prison. He can stay there until we get back. I\u2019m sure Dave and Steve will let me take some time off. Besides, I\u2019m still married to the asshole. In the sense that it\u2019s Scott\u2019s income, and I aim to take half of it in divorcing him, I have an interest in seeing that it does no go belly up.\u201d
\n\t\u201cLana, I\u2018m not sure Anne would appreciate it if I flew cross country with you.\u201d
\n\t\u201cThat\u2019s an entirely different matter. I\u2019m just too hot to handle I guess. But, OK, I can see your point. Have fun.\u201d
\n\t\u201cI\u2019m not saying I\u2019m going to do it. I may wait one more day and get things going with getting Scott out.\u201d
\n\t\u201cSuit yourself, my good man.\u201d<\/p>\n
Scott was pondered all that Lana had said, and decided to give his partner some benefit of dubious doubt. He knew that Lana was the victim, embittered, and also, correct about just about everything. He felt a certain inertia of allegiance. So he called the prison again and set up an appointment for non-contact visitation. He waited that one more day, and went to see Scott in the prison near West Union. Prison was a whole new thing. It was and it wasn\u2019t like it was on TV. He\u2019d left early and gotten out at opening, about 9:10 AM. He went to the administration desk and was handed his visitation order. He turned over everything in his pockets. He removed his shoes and these were inspected. He got himself patted down, and finally, he entered the visitor area. Scott was led in, and he was wearing the orange jumpsuit. He looked damned scruffy. He took a seat behind the reinforced glass window. Bruce did the same and leaned in close.
\n\t\u201cHey man,\u201d said Bruce.
\n\t\u201cHey.\u201d
\n\t\u201cThis sucks. It\u2019s awkward.\u201d
\n\t\u201cYeah, you should try this side of the glass.\u201d
\n\t\u201cIt\u2019s OK. I\u2019ll pass it up.\u201d
\n\t\u201cYou do that.\u201d
\n\t\u201cSo. Have you talked to a lawyer?\u201d
\n\t\u201cNo. Nobody said anything about a lawyer.\u201d
\n\t\u201cYes, you were informed when they read you your rights.\u201d
\n\t\u201cI might have missed that part. I was pretty pissed off.\u201d
\n\t\u201cSo I gathered.\u201d
\nA pause. The two men recalled the flashing lights in their own ways.
\n\t\u201cYou talk to her?\u201d
\n\t\u201cLana?\u201d
\n\t\u201cLana.\u201d
\n\t\u201cYes.\u201d
\n\t\u201cShe\u2019s still pissed?\u201d
\n\t\u201cScott, you hit her in the face.\u201d
\n\t\u201cI take that as a yes.\u201d
\n\t\u201cBuddy, you\u2019re going to have to do a little reality check.\u201d
\n\t\u201cWhat reality is that, Bruce?\u201d
\n\t\u201cYou need to get a lawyer. Ask the guard, however it works.\u201d
\n\t\u201cOK, I\u2019ll ask. Then what? This is all new shit for me. Nobody in here tells you anything. There\u2019s a lot of bad shit going on.\u201d
\n\t\u201cI can imagine.\u201d
\n\t\u201cNo, you can\u2019t.\u201d
\n\t\u201cLook. I can tell you this: you need to get out of here. Try to do it\u2026 Oh, damn. What\u2019s the phrase? On your own\u2026\u201d
\n\t\u201cOn my own what?\u201d
\n\t\u201cThe one that doesn\u2019t involve bail.\u201d
\n\t\u201cOK. I\u2019ll see what a lawyer says. You got any recommendations? What about those people Lana works for?\u201d
\n\t\u201cShe said they only do family law.\u201d
\n\t\u201cFamily law? What the hell does that mean?\u201d
\n\t\u201cYou know\u2026 divorce, custody, restraining orders, stuff like that. You need somebody that does criminal law.\u201d
\n\t\u201cSo I\u2019m the big criminal now.\u201d
\n\t\u201cDude. You have to get it together in your head. You hit your wife in the face. You are charged with assault. Lana says it may only be a misdemeanor.\u201d
\n\t\u201cAs opposed to what?\u201d
\n\t\u201cA felony.\u201d
\n\t\u201cOh Christ!\u201d
\n\t\u201cHey. I\u2019m not the lawyer.\u201d
\n\t\u201cLana\u2019s the lawyer.\u201d
\nScott was not tracking any of this very well. It seemed as though his personality had collapsed to a certain extent.
\n\t\u201cLana\u2019s not a lawyer. She claims that you wouldn\u2019t let her take the Bar.\u201d
\n\t\u201cTrue. I didn\u2019t want her making more money than me.\u201d
\n\t\u201cDon\u2019t tell that to the jury, dude. Not if there\u2019s a single female on it.\u201d
\n\t\u201cYou\u2019re not a lawyer. What do you know?\u201d
\n\t\u201cYou\u2019re catching on! Get a fucking lawyer!\u201d
\nThe guard called out,
\n\t\u201cHey! No profanity! I\u2019ll cut your time short.\u201d
\n\t\u201cSorry, officer.\u201d
\n\t\u201cI\u2019ll get a lawyer, I promise.\u201d
\n\t\u201cI am going out to Oakland and rescue the Skyhawk.\u201d
\n\t\u201cHow long has it been since you flew that plane?\u201d
\n\t\u201cYou got a better idea?\u201d
\n\t\u201cNo. I wish I did. Did you find out what happens if I\u2019m\u2026 convicted? Do I lose by license?\u201d
\n\t\u201cI haven\u2019t looked in to that. If convicted, you\u2019ll lose your gun. If convicted, you\u2019ll be here for a period of time and I\u2019ll have to try to run the business solo.\u201d
\n\t\u201cMan. When I mess up, I mess up good.\u201d
\nThe guard said,
\n\t\u201cYou got five more minutes.\u201d
\n\t\u201cBruce. Talk to Lana. Tell her that I\u2026 I\u2019m really sorry.\u201d
\nScott was trying like hell to not cry, and Bruce could see that. It was a very spooky sensation. He\u2019d always been intimidated by this guy, and here he was coming unglued.
\n\t\u201cOK, buddy, I\u2019ll do it. But if I were you, I\u2019d keep in mind that it\u2019s gonna take her some time.\u201d
\n\t\u201cI can give her time. I will.\u201d
\nThis brightened him a bit, but Bruce had a feeling that eons would not be enough for Lana. She was hard to stop once started, and hard to start once stopped.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
On the morning of January 2, 2012, Lana Marietta Andersen Andrews waltzed in to the law office of Weinstein and Fetterman where she had been working for the past several years as a paralegal. She was all decked out in her favorite office attire, looking quite lawyerly, thank you very much, in her librarian glasses. He one touch of flair was the boots. She had a thing for leather boots. Apart from this outfit, which was a norm as far as her lawyers were concerned, she was also wearing quite the purple splotch of fingerprint on her left cheek. Since David Weinstein had the office to the left side of the reception area, he was the first to see her face. As she sang out her usual greeting, he was up and out of his office to remark, \u201cHoly shit, Lana! What happened to you?\u201d This brought Counselor Fetterman out of his office as well. The two lawyers, David an older man and Stephen somewhat younger, loved her to pieces and vied for her attention somewhat. \u201cMy son of a bitch husband hit me.\u201d \u201cYikes,\u201d said Stephen. \u201cI\u2019m assuming this is what you called about on the 31st,\u201d said David.…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[2],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-138","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-chapters","comments-off"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.ken-beck.com\/bloggers\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/138","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.ken-beck.com\/bloggers\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.ken-beck.com\/bloggers\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.ken-beck.com\/bloggers\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.ken-beck.com\/bloggers\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=138"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.ken-beck.com\/bloggers\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/138\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.ken-beck.com\/bloggers\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=138"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.ken-beck.com\/bloggers\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=138"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.ken-beck.com\/bloggers\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=138"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}